i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
ok first of all what the fuck
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
