She's JV to your varsity
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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