I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
only you would photoshop your dick
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
