i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
