We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
