You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
