"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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