Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
