Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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