let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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