He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The air was thick with penises
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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