Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
