i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
