apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
