I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
