ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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