yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
