My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize