would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
