bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
