His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
