She announced her abortion via fbk
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
