i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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