Porn is love you can see.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
