Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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