KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This is the high leading the old right now
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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