oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
