their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
now i know why i became what i already was.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
