We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
