We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
