I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
