the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
