whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
