apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize