why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize