Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
