HIV tests are more positive than that guy
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize