five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
