you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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