We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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