Already got asked if we're dating
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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