Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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