I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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