I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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