It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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