My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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