Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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