I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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