dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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