if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
