how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
