Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
