And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
