Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
