Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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