I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
