I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
