boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
