you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I didn't notice because vodka
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
