I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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