Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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