he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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